Insight on a Cross Country meet
by Starling-chan
Summary: In which Hisoka wonders why people would willingly put themselves through the torture known as cross-country running.


Insight on a Cross-Country Meet

So, yesterday was my first meet of the season (second meet of the season overall, but I wasn't registered in time for the first). We arrived at the park sometime before eight thirty and my race (the last one, yay me) was scheduled for 1:10. So I decided to kill some time and try my hand at a humor piece.

Warnings: Slight swearing and my first attempt at humor in over a year. Be scared.

--

"Go! You can do it!"

"Keep it up!"

There's so damn much excitement in the air. It's making Hisoka want to puke. Or pass out.

"You're almost there!"

Why the hell would anyone willingly put themselves through this, anyway? What breed of insanity does it take to make people want to do... This?

All the noise is hurting his ears. And it's not nearly as bad as the emotions that threaten to engulf him. Really, what's so wonderful about _running_? For three miles at that! For _fun_!

The uniforms aren't any good, either. In all honesty, Hisoka can't understand how anyone can stand them. (To be fair, he's heard plenty of complaints, but they were only half-hearted, and everyone is still _wearing_ the uniforms.) Hisoka may be just... _shy_... but still! Those uniforms are nothing short of repulsive!

"Isn't this so exciting, Hisoka?"

Hisoka has a headache. Not that Tsuzuki noticed, or else he'd know better than to bother Hisoka.

Maybe not. Tsuzuki's an annoying idiot like that.

"Who are we supposed to find?" Hisoka is certain he remembers the name, but it's damn near impossible to concentrate right now. Why Tsuzuki insisted they look for their charge right here, in the apparently favorite cheering section, is beyond Hisoka.

At least the crowd is shrinking; only the stragglers are left, and most of the bystanders have left. To go cheer somewhere else. How anyone can stand it-

"Go, Kei-kun!" Hisoka jumps, cursing, turning around to see what moron had decided it would be a good idea to deafen him. Invisible to humans or not, there is no excuse for somebody screaming at the top of their lungs almost literally right into his _ear_. And damn Tsuzuki for laughing at him. Hisoka turns to glare at the man, but stops suddenly.

Keisuke is the name of the guy they're supposed to find.

Sometimes, Hisoka could swear that whatever divine being is in charge of his (after)life has a very screwed up sense of humor. Right now being one of those times.

"That's him," Hisoka tells Tsuzuki, not noticing that he answered his own question.

"We should probably follow him," Tsuzuki says, laughter and amusement still coloring his voice. " I don't know if we'll be able to find him again." Hisoka glares, but complies.

The finish line is even worse. Hisoka has to leave to a less crowded place almost right away, lest he fall unconscious, or, worse, start screaming encouragement to the runners himself. He doubts Tsuzuki would ever let him forget it if he did.

After ten minutes, he sees Tsuzuki walking towards him with a (very sweaty, tired, and accomplished) Keisuke. Once they reach Hisoka, Tsuzuki starts explaining who and what they are, and that they have been sent to bring Keisuke to the afterlife, as he was supposed to have died two days ago.

"Yeah, I kinda figured I didn't have long left," Keisuke says, shrugging. "I just really had to run this race. It's the most important one."

Hisoka resists the urge to gape at Keisuke in shock. Or hit his own head in frustration. _Just how insane _are _ the people here?_

--

Later, after they returned to Meifu, Tsuzuki points out to Hisoka, who is still trying to comprehend what he had witnessed, that it could have been much worse. Hisoka could have had to join the school's team and run the race himself.

Hisoka shudders in horror at the thought

おわり

For all of you to have never had the (pleasure? horror?) of seeing/wearing an XC uniform, I will only tell you that it feels like you're running in _underwear_. And doesn't look much better. Especially the girls' shorts; those things have slits up to halfway, and they're short enough as is.


End file.
